found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
