yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
