: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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