I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
