I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize