Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
