Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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