There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
