My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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