Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
