i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
A+ Viking dick
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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