so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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