remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
