I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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