16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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