Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Randomize
