What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
