haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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