You can't special order awesome
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
