spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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