She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
