Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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