I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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