Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
