People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
