He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
