i barfeds in our rink
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
