I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
