Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
