Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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