We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize