We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
