What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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