That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
