Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Sorry about my life...
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
