I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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