I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
