I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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