I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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