as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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