the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
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