Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
