Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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