I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
