just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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