when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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