I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
