Umm I'm too high to move.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
