It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
