Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
