Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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