No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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