Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
COCAINE IS GR8
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
