making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
