My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
