I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
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