We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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