I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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